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Tennis Dongs

Brotherhood of The Shaft

Est. 2025 • Undefeated in Spirit

Welcome to the Club

Tennis Dongs is an exclusive fellowship of gentlemen united by our love of tennis, competitive spirit, and the mutual understanding that our backhands are far better than our judgment.

We gather weekly to chase yellow balls, question line calls, and cheers to the D.A.R.E. officer.

What We're About

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Competitive Excellence

Hero shots only. We're still working on keeping the balls inside the fence.

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Brotherhood

What happens at Tennis Dongs stays at Tennis Dongs. Unless it's hilarious.

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Snacks

The sacred tradition of post-match snacks. Still working on that Mich Ultra sponsorship.

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Led by Coach Annie

The backbone of Tennis Dongs. She brings the balls, keeps the score, organizes the games, and provides the adult supervision we clearly need.

Think You've Got What It Takes?

Membership requires a unanimous vote, quick reflexes, and the ability to laugh at yourself when you shank one off the hosel.

Read the Sacred Charter